I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
