i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
