took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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