let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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