I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
