Rock
Scissors
Fuck
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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