Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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