i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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