Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
