I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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