Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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