What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
