I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
