We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
