U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
