Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize