I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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