apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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