she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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