I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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