I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
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i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
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I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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