I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
