ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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