At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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