Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Ladies don't puke and tell
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
