i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize