I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
