You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
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All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
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I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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