im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
