I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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