i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
