i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
