you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
