i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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