I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize