Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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