I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
