How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
