I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It's shark week go big or go home
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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