oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
