A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
