$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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