I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he shaved USA in his pubs
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
