Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
me + whiskey = a bad person
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
