do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
