i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
