Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
