she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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