Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
