It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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