i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
