I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
