That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.