i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
