Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.