i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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