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• (407): View more from Florida

  i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...

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• (626): View more from California

  What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?

  (1-626): View more from California

  You have mice?

  (626): View more from California

  no why?

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.

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