she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
