Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
