I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
