haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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