so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
