adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
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My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
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I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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