going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
