I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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