My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
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